


Sing Me A Song

by genevievedarcygranger



Series: Negan/Lucille fics [6]
Category: The Walking Dead & Related Fandoms, The Walking Dead (Comics), The Walking Dead (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Angst, Cancer, Cheating, Domestic, F/M, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, Implied Sexual Content, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-05
Updated: 2018-02-05
Packaged: 2019-03-13 20:36:07
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 11,228
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13578477
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/genevievedarcygranger/pseuds/genevievedarcygranger
Summary: This is about Negan and Lucille, meeting. Falling in love. Among other things. All of it centered around songs.





	Sing Me A Song

Thursday, August 9th, 2007

The first time Negan saw his wife Lucille, he admittedly didn’t have any romantic notions about her. He didn’t know that he would fall head over heels in love with her. At the time, he never even thought he would settle down and get married either. But in the heat of the moment, when Negan first laid eyes on Lucille, his first thought was the furthest thing from romantic. Negan looked at her and thought, “Shit, my first day at my new job and I almost ran over some unobservant fucker.”

Because that is how Negan first met Lucille. The first day of school, at a new school that hired him with promises of bonuses so long as he could get both the baseball and basketball teams to the state championships, Negan was running late. His alarm clock was mistakenly set for 5:00 p.m. rather than 5:00 a.m., so Negan woke up nearly an hour late, which means he missed out on parking lot duty. When he got his shower, it was freezing cold because he didn’t have the time to wait for it to get hot. Since his coffeepot crapped out last week, he didn’t have any coffee ready and he didn’t have the time to swing by a Starbucks. He had neglected to buy another box of granola bars, so no breakfast either and no time to make any real food. On top of all that, he left the house without shaving, got stuck in traffic, and actually watched a pigeon shit on his windshield, which was the white cherry on the shit cake because he just took his car through the wash yesterday.

When he pulled up to the school, it was nearly time for classes to start. Negan was in a bad mood already and he really didn’t want to start shit with his students the first day, so he tried fiddling with the radio, looking for a good song that could pull him out of his funk. He settled on Roberta Flack as she sultrily crooned, “The first time ever I saw your face…I thought the sun rose in your eyes…” Partially satisfied, Negan looked up just in time to slam on the brakes.

His tires squealed on the hot asphalt and his truck grinded to a halt right in front of a pissed off looking dirty blonde. Her green eyes – or were they brown? – her hazel eyes shot him the nastiest, and arguably justifiable, look possible before she flounced out of the way.

At the time, Negan didn’t notice that she was beautiful. He just shot her the bird, angrily muttering to himself about how he didn’t need this kind of bullshit. Negan swung his truck into his reserved parking space and booked it for the gym, the blonde already forgotten and all of Roberta Flack’s sultry croons gone to waste as his bad mood still simmered just below the surface to unleash on his unlucky students.

It wasn’t until Negan went to the cafeteria for lunch (since he didn’t have time to pack his own lunch that morning) that he saw the blonde again and remembered his almost-manslaughter. She was sitting at the table reserved for teachers, barely touching her microwaved mac and cheese as she had her narrowed hazel eyes focused on a group of particularly rowdy boys. Negan knew the boys all by name; they were on his baseball team. What Negan didn’t know was the woman’s and it wasn’t until now that she noticed what a looker she was. Her pencil skirt was sensible in length but showed off the smoothness and perfect shape of her calves. Her blouse wasn’t too low cut, but just enough for Negan to guess that her breasts were perky little things. And her mouth, when it wasn’t frowning at him, was full and pretty.

Tossing his tray on the table, Negan took the seat opposite from her without asking. “Don’t you know that pedestrians belong on the sidewalk and trucks belong on the road?”

She started answering him before she even turned to look at him. “Don’t you know that pedestrians have the right away?” When her hazel eyes focused on him they looked just as irritated as they did that morning. “Coach Negan, you wouldn’t have almost run me over if you’d showed up on time this morning. Then I wouldn’t have had to take over parking lot duty for you.”

Admittedly, Negan admired her spunk and privately agreed that it was well founded. But it wasn’t in his nature to admit when he was wrong and instead he decided to see just how annoyed he could get her. Picking up his fork and spearing it through the questionable and limp asparagus – or was it green beans? – Negan muttered, “Who pissed in your cornflakes this morning to get you so pissy, sweetcheeks?”

The woman huffed, and Negan’s eyes dropped to watch the rise and swell of her breasts as he bit into his green vegetables that tasted bland and nothing like either asparagus or green beans. “You did, obviously. I had to cover parking lot duty for you instead of finishing hanging up my posters in my classroom like I planned. And then you almost ran me over.”

“Sounds like procrastination on your part, sweetheart,” Negan said around his mouthful of vegetables. “You had the whole damn summer to get your classroom ready. Then parking lot duty wouldn’t have been any skin off your pert little nose.”

Her hazel eyes practically sparked at him and Negan could feel the metaphorical flames burning his face as he poked at his meatloaf, debating whether or not to eat it. He always hated cafeteria food. “I didn’t have the summer to set up my class because I had to take care of my mother while she was undergoing chemo and recovering from her double mastectomy. And then I had to attend her funeral,” she explained, tone so icy as compared to her eyes.

Immediately, Negan felt contrite and now his face was heating from shame. “I’m sorry for your loss,” Negan mechanically said and then tacked on with more sincerity, “Look, I’m sorry you had to cover for my ass, but I had a real shitty morning. Like Alexander and the no good terrible horrible really fucking shit kind of morning. That’s why I was late.” His excuse felt inadequate, and he knew it was, but Negan felt compelled to tell her that anyway.

Across from him, the woman sighed and with that exhalation it was like all the fight went out of her, too. Despite how put together she looked, Negan suspected she was a little exhausted, and he felt his heart twist in his chest in correspondence. “I’m going to tell you what I tell my students, Coach Negan,” she said, her tone completely changed from before. “It’s a quote I think about often: Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a battle you know nothing about.” With that, she grabbed her half-eaten tray of cold, congealed mac and cheese and stood up to leave. Her parting shot was short and simple. “Sorry about your morning, Coach Negan. My name is Lucille, since you didn’t ask. You might want to know it if you actually do succeed in running me over next time.”

For the rest of the day, all Negan could think about was Lucille. He knew he was an asshole, but he had gone too far and he knew that, too. If he and Lucille were going to be coworkers, he probably should try and not be so much of an asshole to her. At the end of the school day, Negan sought Lucille out and find her tiding up the choir room. She was the music teacher, apparently, and she was finally hanging her posters up. Negan watched her struggle for a moment, taking note that most of the posters she hung up were from musicals like Singing in the Rain, Sound of Music, and West Side Story. Lucille was balancing on a stool as she hung up a poster for The Wizard of Oz. She was singing to herself softly as she did it, too. “I’d unravel any riddle for any individual in trouble or in pain…” She listed off into whistles, clearly concentrating on her work.

Negan was just about to open his mouth to comment on how he was in need in both a brain and a heart, but then she wobbled precariously, and Negan reached up to steady her with his hands on her hips. Startled, Lucille threw herself further into his hands when she twisted around too fast. Negan kept her from falling, but her poster wasn’t so lucky. “Shit, sorry about that. I just got distracted.” He wasn’t going to admit that it was her rear that distracted him, but it was true that he was distracted. Lucille quickly righted herself on the stool again, and Negan released her once he was sure.

“Coach Negan,” she greeted him, reserved. “Could you pass my poster back to me?”

“Sure,” Negan agreed and did as she asked. While he taped it levelly to the wall, Negan watched her with his hands on the stool, ready to catch her if she should fall. “I just came looking around for you because I was going to offer covering one of your shifts for parking lot duty. You know, since I didn’t fucking do my shift this morning.”

Lucille paused and looked over her shoulder at him. “I’d prefer it if you did parking lot duty with me.” That surprised Negan and she clearly saw his surprise as she added, “You weren’t the first truck to almost hit me this morning. I’m so short and these high school boys are so reckless in their trucks that they have hard time seeing me over the steering wheels.”

Negan thought back to how Lucille was looking at his baseball athletes in the cafeteria at lunch. He could agree that they weren’t the best drivers. “Deal.” Negan reached up and offered her his hand.

She cocked her head, but accepted his hand and shook it firmly. “Will you help me down, too?”

A smile broke out across his face and he didn’t let go of her hand as he helped her step down from the stool. Once she was firmly on the ground, though, Negan didn’t step back from her either. He did let go of her hand to shove his own hands in his pocket nervously. Negan wasn’t sure why he was nervous at the time. Looking back, it seemed obvious, but hindsight is always twenty-twenty. “You know, uh, I think Sound of Music is my favorite fucking musical.”

Her smile mirrored his. “Mine is West Side Story, but the school is actually performing Sound of Music in the spring. You should keep an eye out for it. I always team up with the theatre department to help with the production.”

“I’ll be sure to fucking do that. See you in the parking lot tomorrow?”

“Sure, so long as you don’t finish what you started this morning,” Lucille teased him.

He chuckled, “You’re never gonna fucking forgive me for that, are you, Lucille?”

“I’m a big believer in earning forgiveness.”

“I’ll fucking work on it, then.”

Friday, September 28th, 2007

After that, Negan and Lucille settled into a routine. They offered worked parking lot duty together, ate lunch together. During all this time together, they got to know each other. Negan learned a lot about Lucille, but one his fondest memories has to be the day they talked about music. He’d asked Lucille what her favorite song was since she was the music teacher. Her answer had surprised him.

“Really? Roxanne?” Negan laughed at her, and Lucille blushed. “I thought you’d pick a Billy Joel, David Bowie, or Elton John song. You said they were your favorite artists.” Since this was at lunch in the cafeteria, Negan usually had to sensor his speech, but just this once, he couldn’t help it. “Fuck, you’re full of surprises.”

“It’s because of Moulin Rouge,” Lucille defended herself quietly, still blushing a pretty pink as she took a dainty bite of her turkey sandwich.

“That’s that movie with Obi-Wan, right?” Negan popped a chip into his mouth casually.

“Don’t tell me you haven’t seen it,” Lucille said as she set down her sandwich. She and Negan had argued a lot about movies, like how Negan didn’t like any of the old John Wayne westerns and Lucille never liked Star Trek.

“Nope. Guess you’ll have to show it to me sometime.” Negan winked at her, by now their friendship progressing to where Negan constantly flirted with her, but usually Lucille didn’t do anything about it. He knew that she wanted to, but she was very mindful of their job positions.

“I guess I will,” she agreed and then quickly turned the tables back around on him when she asked, “So what’s your favorite song then, Negan? Wait let me guess.” Thoughtfully, she put a finger to her chin. “Is it Smile by Barry Manilow?” she joked with an impish grin.

Negan barked out another laugh, throwing his head back and wrapping an arm around his middle. He knew that the students were probably staring, but he didn’t care. Wiping at his eyes, Negan said, “Now, I do know that song, and it’s not a bad song at all, Lucille. But that’s not my favorite. Why would you guess that?”

Again, she blushed, though this time she avoided his eyes, picking up her sandwich again and inspecting it closely. “You have such a nice smile, Negan.”

He hummed at that, smirking at her, but he mercifully let it go rather than tease her further. “Well, you know I’m a huge Johnny Cash fan.”

“Yeah, a Johnny Cash fan who doesn’t like westerns. It’s a little hard to believe,” she teased.

Negan broke off into a chuckle, but then continued, “Well, my favorite song isn’t a Johnny Cash song either. It’s by Ray Charles actually. It’s called, uh, You Don’t Know Me.”

Lucille’s hazel eyes lit up and sparkled at Negan. “Oh, I know that song from a movie, too! It’s Groundhog’s Day.”

“Yeah, with Bill Murray. I’m glad we can agree on at least one movie,” Negan smirked again, “but I do prefer him in The Caddy Shack.”

“Ghostbusters,” Lucille countered and then shook her head at him. “You picked that song from Groundhog’s Day when you could’ve picked Sonny and Cher instead? Shame on you, Negan.”

“Christ, they were right to pick that song for fucking torture,” Negan groaned playfully. “But I picked the Ray Charles song because it’s good.” As low as he could, Negan softly sang, “No, you don’t know the one who dreams of you at night; and longs to kiss your lips, and longs to hold you tight.” Abruptly, he broke off, “Come on, Lucille, it’s fucking romantic, you got to admit.”

For a moment Lucille looked at him funny. “Yeah, it is pretty romantic,” she said, her voice curiously soft. “I didn’t know you could sing, Negan. Maybe you should be teaching choir instead of me.”

Now it was Negan’s turn to be flustered, though he didn’t exactly blush. “I grew up singing in the church choir with my mom, but I hated that shit.” Lucille looked a little sad at that, so Negan rushed to add, “I still sing, it’s just for pleasure now.”

Her expression shifted into one of understanding. “For pleasure,” she repeated, and they lapsed into silence for a long beat. It wasn’t uncomfortable, but there was a palpable tension. The pause was pregnant with something, but what Negan wasn’t sure. He was unsure of how to dissolve the tension, too.

Then Lucille drew herself up and continued talking like it was nothing. “You know what, Ray Charles had a good cameo in The Blues Brothers, too, which reminds me that all of those actors were friends, you know. John Belushi was supposed to be in Ghostbusters, but since he died they made that green thing in homage to him instead. Like for Animal House or something?” She kept talking, but Negan could hardly focus on what she was saying. He was sure now the friendship he had with Lucille needed to go beyond flirting. Negan wanted her.

Saturday, September 29th, 2007

The next day was Negan’s first baseball game of the season. It was a home game, and he had high hopes that he had managed to whip these boys into shape over the summer. His bonus was riding on the chance of making it to the championship, and Negan needed that money. Moving to this new school meant putting a down-payment on a house. Fuck if he knew why he bought a house instead of finding an apartment. It was too big for just him, but it’ll have to do for now. But having a house so big also meant Negan was a little … lonely.

He did everything he could to keep from having to go home, which meant eating out a lot, extra practice with his players, volunteering for other school events, and working weekends at the car dealership for a little extra cash in his pocket, too. Since the game was today, though, (and it was an afternoon game), Negan wouldn’t be able to go into work at the dealership. He’d be home before he knew it, bored out of his mind. Not something he was looking forward to.

As of now, though, he wasn’t thinking of that. Staring at his team lined up in the dugout, Negan gave them his colorful pep-talk to start the season. “Alright boys, it’s the start of the fucking season. Winning baseball games is the kind of shit that’ll get you fucking college scholarships. Winning baseball games is the kind of shit that’ll get you laid. But I don’t give a shit if you get either of those damn things. You’re winning this shit right now because I fucking told you to! You got it? I know you can fucking win, so there’s no fucking excuses! Get out there and win this thing, damn it!” Cheering, the baseball boys filed out of the dugout to take the field, and Negan clapped his hands out them. “Fucking hustle, you sorry shits!”

Once the last player was out there, a voice spoke to Negan through the fence, startling him bad enough that he twisted in an awkward jerky movement. “Wow, Coach, they must really love you.” Of course, it was Lucille, clinging to the chain link fence, her dirty blonde hair pulled out of her face and her sunglasses resting on the top of her head. She was smiling at him, and Negan noticed that she was dressed very casually today than any other school day he’s seen her. And she was beautiful.

“Fucking hell, Lucille, you’re gonna give me damn whiplash sneaking up on me like that, all creepy as shit.” Negan leaned against the fence, smiling widely right back at her. Well, she didn’t exactly look creepy as shit, but Negan wasn’t sure how to tell her that otherwise.

Lucille rolled her eyes at him. “Your foul language just gets ten times worse outside of school, doesn’t it?”

“Yep,” Negan popped the ‘p’ and smirked. “Sure fucking does, Lucille.”

“Were you in the army of something, cause there’s just something about you that screams ‘I know discipline but I have a problem with authority that was never straighten out.’ That and the fact that you swear like a sailor, and talk to those kids like a drill sergeant.”

“Nah, I didn’t even go to military school and I wasn’t in the ROTC either. Just not my fucking style, and I was too busy with sports.” A blast of music tore Negan’s attention away. “Oh man, I didn’t think they’d take my music suggestion under fucking consideration.”

“You’re the one who picked the Eurythmics?” Lucille asked him and then laughed, “I should have known.”

“It’s got a nice fucking beat,” Negan explained, liking how flushed Lucille was getting out in this heat. She had a nice laugh, too, just charming. “I want the boys to get pumped up, not lose their edge. This is the fucking song to do it.”

“Well, I guess you’re right.” Lucille looked up at him, hazel eyes glittering with her mirth. Even with the fence between them, with Lucille in the stands and Negan in the dugout, he noticed that they were still close, close enough to kiss through the chain links.

Clearing his throat, he straightened up a bit. “So, did you come out by yourself here to see your students fucking clobber the shit outta the Panthers?”

“Yeah, just me,” Lucille looked away from him, nodding. “Consider me moral support.”

“Well, you’re the only one here with any fucking morals, Lucille.”

She shot him a look at that, narrowing her eyes at him, searching his face. Before she could reply, the music stopped and the announcer began to hype up the crowd. “Shit, that’s my cue.” Negan ran his hand under his baseball cap, and then moved for the exit.

“Guess I’ll go find my seat, then,” Lucille said softly, somewhat dejectedly.

At the last minute, Negan turned on his heel, looking back at Lucille who was still clinging to the chain link fence, watching him go. “You want to have dinner with me after the game?”

He watched Lucille perk up and brighten, like the sun coming out from behind the clouds, and Negan briefly thought that he could believe if sunshine did shine out of Lucille’s ass. “I’d love to, Negan.”

Grinning at her rakishly, Negan nodded. “Fucking A. Now I better hear you cheering from the stands now. Really scream your fucking head off for me – I mean, the team.”

She smirked at him, pulling away from the fence. “I’ll be sure to root for the home team, but I think the screaming will have to wait for another day.” And now it was Negan’s turn to not be able to respond as Lucille waved goodbye and hurried to her seat.

“Wow.” Negan put his hand over his heart, rubbed his sternum, and shook his head. “Damn.”

During the game, Lucille kept her word. She cheered for the home team – maybe not as loud as some of the parents – but she cheered. Negan did think it was funny to buy her some peanuts and a coke (he couldn’t find any cracker jacks) during a lull in the game, and Lucille did accept them with a smile. “Next time,” she said as she took the bag of peanuts from him, her fingers brushing against his, “you can buy me a hot dog, too.”

“Hot diggity dog,” Negan teased, looking forward to the fact that she’d come to another game, “I’ll get you a fucking wiener to suck on, Lucille.” He winked at her and she blushed, but then he had to head back to the dugout to talk to his players.

After the game (they won!), Negan was glad to see Lucille stick around and help him clear away the mess. He took her to an Italian restaurant in town that he’d been wanting to try since he moved here. It was a snazzy joint with uppity prices. They had Frank Sinatra singing about flying to the moon and luck being a lady in the background. Overall, the atmosphere was nice. The only problem was that the food was shit.

“Damn, I’m sorry, Lucille,” Negan profusely apologized, “I should’ve took you to this little Chinese joint that I’ve been obsessing over since I fucking moved here.”

“It’s fine, Negan,” Lucille assured him as she pushed her flavorless meatball around on her plate, “there’s always next time.”

There she went again, promising that there would be a next time. Negan’s stomach flipped, and he couldn’t tell if it was from the bad pesto sauce or Lucille’s promise. “Well, next time, I’ll just fucking make you some spaghetti myself.”

“Oh, you cook?”

“Fuck yeah, I do. I just don’t know how to cook enough pasta for one.”

“Well, I doubt any spaghetti you’d make would be as bad as this,” Lucille said, “I’d love to have dinner at your house sometime.”

“It’s a fucking date, then,” Negan confirmed, feeling accomplished.

Lucille laughed at him, and twirled her congealed noodles around her fork, mostly playing with the food rather than eating it now. “Negan, we’re on a date now.”

And as they parted ways after splitting the bill evenly between them, Negan remembered that she called this a date when Lucille kissed his cheek goodbye. Maybe it was just him exaggerating things, but it felt like his cheek was warm from the press of her lips for the rest of the day until his head touched the pillow that night.

Saturday, October 6th, 2007

The next time Negan saw Lucille at school, everything felt different while simultaneously the same. It wasn’t a bad different, it was good, and Negan liked that things could feel normal even though there was something else there. They continued to eat lunch together and share parking lot duty together with the same amount of flirting as before. It wasn’t until that Saturday – the next baseball game – that the more risqué flirting came back in full force.

Negan kept his word and bought Lucille a hotdog at the game, and he admittedly paid more attention to watching her happily eat it and drip mustard on her lap rather than watching his boys on the field. He smiled when he saw her dance while sitting down on the bleachers, mumbling along to Queen’s We Are the Champions. After another victorious game, he and Lucille had their second date back at his place where he made spaghetti with her.

Lucille had brought him a host gift: a six pack of beer. She impressed him by popping the lid off without the use of a bottle opener, and while she took her swig, she wiggled her eyebrows at him. Leaving him to handle the sauce, she turned around and headed for the living room, and with her back to him, she wiggled her hips.

Turning back to the sauce, Negan tasted it. Smacking his lips, he decided to add some mushrooms, and then he heard music playing softly. Lucille had found his stereo system. Wandering back into the kitchen, Lucille said, “Hope you don’t mind, but I thought I’d save you the trouble of humming.”

“I was humming?” Negan asked, unaware if he was doing that.

“Yeah, you were humming while you prepared the sauce.” Lucille smiled at him. “I think you were humming this song, too.”

Pausing, Negan listened to the music.

“I, I’m so in love with you. Whatever you want to do is all right with me.”

He remembered how the night after their date, he’d idly played this on the stereo. Apparently, he had left the CD in. Funny, that was the first time he used his stereo system to play his music since he’s moved in. He’s barely touched his TV and stereo system as it was, and the few times he has, it had been to tune into ESPN. “Oh, I was humming this?”

“Sure were, Negan.” Playfully, Lucille bumped her hip into his and stood on her tiptoes to peek inside the sauce pot. “Don’t be embarrassed, though. I think you have perfect pitch.”

She took a deep breath and then took a sip of her beer. “Look good enough for you, Lucille?”

“It certainly smells good enough to eat,” she joked, toasting her bottle at him.

“Would you like a taste?” Negan offered her the wooden spoon he had just tasted from. Lucille didn’t shy away and accepted the offer, her pink tongue flicking out to lick the spoon before she wrapped her lips around it.

“Mm,” She moaned appreciatively, “The mushrooms are a nice touch. Not too salty either, and just enough garlic.”

“God damn, you’re just a regular Chef Ramsey, aren’t you?” Negan tilted his head down to her, leaning close into her personal space. She was so close to him that Negan was sure he was warm from being around her than the hot stove.

“You’re the one wearing the apron,” Lucille teased before she nodded the pot behind him, “if you want those noodles al dente, though, I’d suggest moving the pot off the burner.”

Looking back at the frothy spaghetti noodles, Negan cursed, “Oh shit,” and quickly moved the pot off the red eye of the stovetop. Lucille wandered away again, setting the table with plates and silverware. Negan shook his head at what a distraction she was in his kitchen.

Once they sat down to eat, Lucille raved over how much better his spaghetti was than the Italian restaurant. “What are you doing coaching when you can open up a five-star restaurant of your own?”

“Well,” Negan slurped a noodle into his mouth. “I did consider going to a fucking culinary school, but they don’t accept sports scholarships.”

“Good point,” Lucille conceded, and took a bite of her garlic bread. Negan watched a bit of butter roll down her chin before she caught it with her napkin, looking a little embarrassed. Negan liked what a messy eater she was, though, and didn’t comment on it, choosing instead to smile down at his plate. “You know, I thought your answer was going to be along the same lines about what you told me about singing.” Negan looked up at her, confused, and Lucille continued, “How you only sing for pleasure now.” She sipped her beer and explained, “You only cook for pleasure?”

Watching how she swallowed, Negan swallowed, too, throat feeling too dry and constricted. Still, he found a way to answer her. “It’s like I said before, I’d cook more if I could control my portion sizes. There’s only so many nights where I can have leftovers.”

“I’m surprised some woman hasn’t snatched you up, yet, Negan. You can sing, you can cook, you’re funny, handsome. What’s not to love about you?”

Briefly, Negan wondered if Lucille had too much beer. Later, when he and Lucille had collapsed together on the couch, sharing a kiss as their dessert, Negan knew she had to have had too much beer when she started tugging on the hem of his shirt. “Lucille, how many fucking beers did you have, Lucille?”

“Two, maybe three,” she mumbled into his mouth and dragged her lips down his neck. “I’m not a lightweight, Negan, don’t worry about me.”

“Shit, I don’t think you can drive home tonight, Lucille,” Negan groaned, but let her push his shirt up over his head so her mouth could attach itself to one of his hardened nipples.

“I didn’t have any intention of going home tonight, Negan,” Lucille purred, and briefly leaned up to kiss his mouth again. “I have an overnight bag in my trunk. I’ll go home tomorrow morning. Is that okay?”

“Fuck, it’s more than fucking okay with me, Lucille,” Negan growled and then scooped her up in his arms bridal style, carrying her to his bed.

And Lucille did not go home until late Sunday afternoon, after spending a lazy morning in bed and eating a late brunch of pancakes with Negan.

Friday, October 12th, 2007

The next week at school, Negan definitely noticed a difference between Lucille and himself. While they tried to keep their flirting down to a minimum, Negan still found himself staring at her heatedly, remembering how soft her skin was, how sweet her kisses were, how it felt to be buried inside her. Sometimes he caught Lucille giving him the same looks, and whenever he caught her doing it, she’d blush and he’d smile like a shark.

That week was also an interesting one because it was Homecoming Week. Each day the students dressed up for certain categories, like super heroes and Disney characters, animals and school colors. Friday was Decades Day where the students were supposed to dress up from either the 50s, 60s, 70s, 80s, or 90s.

To Negan’s surprise, Lucille dressed up for each and every day. She was Catwoman on Monday, which led to a talk at lunch about her bringing the whip on the next date. Tuesday, she was Cinderella, and somehow during lunch Negan admitted his foot fetish to her. Lucille didn’t seem to mind. On the animal day, Lucille was a snake, and thankfully, neither of them were Furries or Scalies or whatever the fucks. On Thursday, Negan decided to dress up with her; he wore black, and she wore red.

Friday, though, Negan decided to dress up again and surprise Lucille. He had rummaged through his closet and found his old black leather jacket. That was the only touch needed for him to complete his John Travolta Grease look. As he sat in the cafeteria waiting for Lucille, Negan decided that if she showed up as Sandy, he’d marry her on the spot. As it was, though, Lucille showed up with a perm and hot pink leg warmers, and Negan nearly died laughing.

He recovered himself when she sat down across from him. “Shit, Lucille. You just wanna have fun?”

“You’re good enough for me, Negan,” she smiled and then made a point of looking him over. “You should wear that leather jacket more often.”

“It’s a bitch to wear when it’s hot, but once it starts to get cooler, I most certainly will since you like it so damn much.”

“It makes you look handsome, Negan,” Lucille informed him as she took a bite of her ranch covered salad.

“I wasn’t handsome before, Lucille? Shit, way to make a fella feel good.”

“Oh, you know perfectly well that I do know how to make you feel good,” Lucille replied a little too loud, and Negan’s group of baseball players sitting at a table nearby immediately burst into laughter. Lucille flushed, irritated more than she was upset, and Negan turned around in his seat to give them a look. 

“You boys want to run laps tomorrow or do you want to go the Homecoming Dance?” He threatened, voice gruff.

Immediately, the laughter died down and they went back to eating, though Negan did hear a soft murmuring from their table. Turning back to Lucille, Negan apologized. “Oh, it’s fine,” Lucille brushed it off so casually, “They were going to talk tomorrow anyway when we both show up to the Homecoming dance to chaperone.”

“You think so, Lucille?”

She nodded, “Yup.” Then she jabbed her fork in his direction. “This also means you don’t have an excuse for not dancing with me.”

“Alright, Lucille,” Negan gave in, “It’s a date.”

Saturday, October 13th, 2007

That day there was an away game for the baseball team, so Lucille didn’t go. Luckily, though, it was an afternoon game, so the team and Negan had time to make it back to get ready for the Homecoming dance. Friday night the football team had won, and Saturday, the baseball team had one. The dance was sure to be a riot. When Negan got to the dance, he quickly found Lucille sitting by the punch bowl like a gargoyle.

“Anybody fucking spike that shit yet?” He asked her as he sidled up to her side. While the students wore their dresses and suits, the teachers were dressed no more formerly than they did during a normal school day. But to Negan, under the dim gym lights, Lucille still looked beautiful. He only wished that the homecoming prep team had not only managed to sprinkle glitter everywhere, but also get rid of the stinky sock smell in his gym.

“No,” Lucille answered him and stepped closer to him until they rubbed shoulders. Or rather, since she was so short, her shoulder rubbed against his arm, closer to his elbow than his shoulder. “I’m tempted to spike it, though. I’m watching high school drama unfold everywhere and it’s a train wreck I can’t look away from.”

“Oh, yeah?” Negan cracked a smile. “Fill me in on the drama, then, Lucille. I’ve been missing my favorite soap opera.”

Lucille looked up at him and smirked softly and then she looked out on the dancefloor again. “Well, Miss Robin is no longer with Mr. Bruce. She’s gone back to Mr. Jason.” She nodded her head towards where a brunette girl in a purple dress was slow dancing with a tall, lanky basketball player. Negan recognized them both, especially the basketball player. He was one of the best on the team.

“Shit, I thought she was with Max.”

“Nope. Max is here with a nice girl named Monica.”

Impressed, Negan whistled softly. “Isn’t Monica a senior?”

“That’s right.”

“Damn. Max is doing well for himself.”

“Much better than he was with Juliet.”

“What was wrong with Julie?”

“Juliet,” Lucille corrected him, “She cheated on Max from what I heard.”

“Ouch, that always sucks dick big time.”

“Hm, that’s what she might’ve been doing, too.”

Negan chuckled, “Shit!” And Lucille laughed with him, too. Once he calmed down from his laughter, Negan leaned close to her again and said in a low voice, “Speaking of dick sucking…”

“I cannot believe you’re going to ask me to suck your dick,” Lucille cut her hazel eyes at him, “before you’d ask me to dance.”

Leaning back on his heels, Negan pointed his finger in the air, and then the DJ, who had been playing Taio Cruz, switched tracks to an older song. “I’ll stop the world and melt with you,” he sang to Lucille softly, “you’ve seen the difference and it’s getting better all the time.” Taking her hand, he brought her close to him and swayed back and forth, “There’s nothing you and I won’t do. I’ll stop the world and melt with you.”

Lucille looked up at him with sparkling hazel eyes before she ducked her head, laughing softly and blushing. “I underestimated you.”

“Fuck yeah, you did. I bribed the DJ,” Negan said gently tilted her face up to him again, his thumb resting on her chin just below her bottom lip. He leaned down to kiss her, but Lucille pulled away.

“Careful, Negan,” she warned him with a steadying hand on his chest, “we look like hypocrites if we tell the students not to dance this close but we do anyway.”

Chuckling, Negan leaned back again. “Alright, well are my hands in the right spots, Ms. Lucille?”

“I think the hand you have on my back needs to go a little higher,” Lucille sassed him, “We’re dancing, not playing grab ass on your basketball court.”

Again, Negan laughed. He found himself doing that a lot with Lucille. Negan couldn’t remember a time when he’d ever laugh so much. “Alright, Lucille,” he said as he moved his head up her spine from where he had it resting on the curve of her rear, “but we can still play grab ass later?”

“After the dance,” she promised him, “in your office, Coach.”

Raising his eyebrows at her, Negan smiled widely, his teeth still shining brightly even in the low lighting. “Will you suck my dick there, too, Lucille?”

“Only if you return the favor.”

“I can do that.” Negan leaned down and whispered in her ear, “I think our dance stops here. If young Miss Charlotte dances any closer to Merle, I think she’ll get knocked up. And I don’t want to deal with that paperwork.”

“Me either, Negan,” Lucille said and they gently disentangled themselves from each other. Lucille looked up and made eye-contact with a group of girls that immediately scattered. “Oh, I think I just broke a gaggle of girls’ hearts.”

“Hm? What do you mean?”

“Just that group of girls, Coach.”

Negan shoved his hands in his pockets. “I’m sure they’re some boys that are jealous of the fact that I romanced the choir teacher, too.”

She smacked her hand on his chest lightly. “Now you’re just being silly, Negan. I’m not the one with a cock fan-club.”

Wednesday, October 31st, 2007

The next three Saturdays, Negan’s baseball team had two away days, and one-off day, so he and Lucille didn’t get to see much of each other. For that, they decided to spend Halloween together, with Lucille volunteering to be the one handing out candy at the door and cooing over the kids’ costumes. Negan made the excuse that if he did it, he’d just eat all the candy and then he’d have to deal with his house getting egged. Lucille laughed at him for that.

Between choruses of ‘Trick or Treat!’ they danced around to The Monster Mash, but when things started to settle down, they decided to chill out with a movie instead. They watched Nightmare on Elm Street, and when that became too scary for Lucille, they watched Disturbia, a movie that came out earlier this year, instead. Negan teased her about it, but Lucille just said that she couldn’t stand gore. And her biggest fear was actually zombies. Then it was Negan’s turn to laugh at Lucille about that, though, he assured her that he wouldn’t let anything happen to her.

“I promise I won’t let any fucking zombies eat you, Lucille,” Negan told her earnestly as they cuddled together on his couch underneath a blanket. They both had a beer on coasters on the coffee table, a bowl of popcorn and a bowl of candy between them. It was a cozy night in that Negan couldn’t imagine a better way to spend it.

“You won’t let me become a zombie, either?” Lucille asked, half-serious and half-not.

“Look, if you become a fucking zombie, Lucille,” Negan said, feigning seriousness, “I’ll fucking kill you myself.”

“My hero,” Lucille scoffed at him and reached for her beer.

Negan yanked her back into his arms, playfully rough, just how she liked it. “Shit. What else can I fucking do for you, Lucille? There’s no fucking cure.”

“Let me bite you then, Negan, and let me eat you whole,” Lucille was entirely playful now as she leaned closer to him, bearing her teeth in more than a smile.

“We can fucking turn and be dead together, Lucille. That’s more fucking morbid than romantic.” Negan shook his head at her and dug his fingers into her sides, tickling her. She squealed in response, and over her laughter, Negan said, “You never need a fucking invitation to bite me, Lucille, you know I’m into that kinky shit. But I’d rather be the one eating you, if you know what I fucking mean.”

They wiggled around until Negan had Lucille pinned underneath him. The popcorn and candy were knocked over, spilled all over his carpet, but Negan didn’t care. The movie was paused, too. There was nothing but him and Lucille in that moment. She leaned up and captured his mouth in a kiss. Before he could deepen it, she pulled away and bit her lip at him coyly. “Get up and turn the light off. I don’t want to be interrupted.”

“Fuck yes, Lucille.”

After Halloween, the baseball season ended for Negan. He did get the team to the state championships, but they wouldn’t be able to play until the spring. Once baseball season ended for him, it was time to start basketball season. But it was getting towards the end of the semester, and the student population was getting antsy for the holidays. Lucille had a choir concert to plan in preparation for Christmas, so it got a little harder for Negan and Lucille to see much of each other outside of school.

At one point, Negan considered asking Lucille out of the blue if she would just move in with him. She ended up staying the night at his place on Halloween, and since there was school the next day, she had to leave obscenely early to get to her place on time to get ready for school. When they say each other at lunch, they exchanged knowing grins, but never said a word about what happened. They didn’t need to ask each other how they spent their Halloween when they spent their Halloween together.

The next time he and Lucille really saw each other was during the Thanksgiving holiday. Since Lucille’s mom had passed over the summer – and her dad had been gone for the past five years or so – she had no family to spend the day with. Negan himself was estranged from his own family by choice, not wanting anything to do with his shitty, abusive, alcoholic father. The only person in his family that he ever cared for was his Grandma, and she had died while he was in college over a decade ago.

So, they spent Thanksgiving at Negan’s house. Lucille baked a green bean casserole and brought homemade mac and cheese. Negan attempted to cook a turkey, but it didn’t go well. Luckily, he could bake yeast rolls and whip up some mash potatoes just fine, so he and Lucille laughed it off, claiming they had a vegetarian style Thanksgiving. For dessert they had a pumpkin pie, topped with whipped cream and cinnamon shavings. The left over whipped cream they had was later used on each other. That counted as their second dessert.

Over all, it was a nice holiday break they spent together. And as November faded into December, Negan realized just how serious things were getting between him and Lucille.

Friday, December 7th, 2007

Since Lucille visited all of the home games for baseball, it was only fair that Negan attend the choir’s concert performances. He managed to slip into the auditorium at the last minute, running a little late from picking up an extra shift at the car dealership. As he settled down into the back row of theatre seats, all of the lights in the house dimmed except for the ones onstage. Lucille walked out, wearing a red dress that to others might have been seen as festive, but to Negan only screamed provocative.

“Thank you for coming out tonight, folks,” she began, her voice clear through the microphone. “Tonight, the students will be performing a variety of Christmas carols, basically everything from the classic Jingle Bells to Christmas Time is Here from the Charlie Brown special.”

Somewhere along the way, Negan forgot to keep listening because all he could focus on was how she looked underneath those lights. She was smiling so beautiful, her lips as red as her dress. Her dirty blonde hair had been masterfully curled and pinned up with an emerald green ribbon. Christ, Lucille looked exactly like a present, and Negan wasn’t sure if he could wait until Christmas to unwrap her. Thinking back, he believed that he was a good boy this year, so while he may not get any coal, he was looking forward to getting a switch if it meant he could use it will Lucille.

The more he thought about it, the more he wanted to do everything Lucille. He never wanted to be apart from her, and he was looking forward to the Christmas break only because that meant that they could spend more time together. They had already made some plans, like how Lucille wanted him to go out caroling with her. There was definitely going to be one night spent in front of the TV to watch all the Christmas specials, but who knows how far they’ll make it in before they distract each other like they did on Halloween night. Negan still hadn’t gotten Lucille a present for Christmas yet because he was still unsure what to get her. What could he give a woman who had given him so much laughter and love in his life?

In the middle of the choir performance of All I Want for Christmas is You, Lucille snuck into a seat beside Negan, whispering in his ear, “I’m glad you could make it.” She kissed his cheek, but Negan turned to catch the kiss on his mouth instead.

“I wouldn’t miss it for the world, Lucille.” She smiled at him, and he could see it clearly despite the darkness because she practically radiated happiness, warmth, love, and light.

That night after the performance, she went home with him, and they made it exactly halfway through It’s a Wonderful Life before Lucille dragged him upstairs.

Saturday, December 8th, 2007

Lucille ended up staying over from the night before, so they spent a lazy day together. They drank hot chocolate and finished their movie. They also did simple little domestic things that Negan had been meaning to get around to. While they did their laundry, they sang Baby, It’s Cold Outside in a duet. While they cleaned the kitchen together, they listened to Elvis sing about Blue Christmas and then tuned into the Rudolph Christmas special just in time to hear about green Christmases and white Christmases. While they mopped the floors, Lucille used the mop as a microphone, dancing around on slippery floors and singing Jingle Bell Rock. Negan saved her from busting her head, and they moved on to dusting the living room in preparations for setting up the Christmas decorations together. This time Lucille was much tamer as she sang Santa Baby.

Once the house was clean, they went out and bought a real tree to set up in Negan’s home. This time they left the singing to Frank Sinatra as they strung up the Christmas lights and the multi-colored baubles. Lucille even hung plastic wrapped candy canes on the tree, too. When Negan asked why, Lucille demonstrated that they could be plucked off and eaten whenever he wanted. Negan conceded that candy canes were a good choice in decoration for its multiple purposes.

That night, they went out caroling together, singing about Rudolph and his nose, Frosty and his hat, Grandma and her accident, Mommy and her affair with Santa, and Santa coming to town. All their singing earlier was just practice, but this time, he and Lucille put effort into it and had nearly every house they visited come out, cheering and clapping for them. Negan and Lucille would finish by wishing a merry Christmas and a happy new year, not accepting any of the donations. The caroling they were doing was purely for pleasure after all.

When they returned to Negan’s house that night, Negan took pleasure in seeing how little up and not-so-lonely his house had become. Lucille was going to spend the night again, too, which only made his home feel more complete. It was with a start that he realized while brushing his teeth, staring at Lucille’s own purple toothbrush that she left over here, that everything clicked into place for Negan. If home is where the heart is, Lucille is his home. She made this place livable. And he loved her, and wanted to spend the rest of his life with her. Now he knew exactly what to get Lucille for Christmas: a diamond ring.

On Christmas Eve (because Negan couldn’t wait until Christmas Day) Lucille said yes.

They married during spring break, danced to You Look Wonderful Tonight, and spent their honeymoon at Negan’s house since they knew every vacation spot would be full of hormonal teenagers. But Negan and Lucille were more than a little hormonal themselves, as they barely left Negan’s – now their – home, let alone their bed the whole week.

For nearly three years, they had the perfect marriage. But as ideas of a little Negan or a little Lucille danced through their heads, things began to fall apart. For one, it was Lucille who wanted a baby, not Negan. Maybe Negan was being selfish, but he didn’t like the idea of sharing Lucille with anyone, not even a baby that was as much his as it was hers. He thought that they could push it off until later, until they had more money at least. But Lucille felt like her internal clock was ticking, and that was mostly because of Negan. He was significantly older than her, and she didn’t want him to be 51 and her to be 35 when they have their first child together.

After an argument like that, their marriage was put on the rocks and Negan began to stray.

Monday, January 11th, 2010

Negan had met Ashley at the bar last night, and he honestly hadn’t intended for anything to happen between them. It just happened. One minute he was up on stage doing drunken karaoke of Everybody Wants to Rule the World and the next thing he knew he was in the bathroom stall with Ashley bent over the toilet as he rammed her from behind. He wasn’t holding her hair back because she’d been vomiting, that would have been too noble of him, and he couldn’t pass it off that way since both her panties and his pants were on the tiled floor. Negan was holding her hair like reins on a horse as he rode her hard, and he was so drunk out of his mind that he hadn’t even pulled out when he came inside her bathing her walls in his come.

That was the wakeup called he needed to snap some sobriety into his system. He and Lucille hadn’t had sex much over the course of the Christmas break, mostly because when they did, there was always this nagging thought in the back of their minds about a baby. Lucille had told him that she was still on birth control, but Negan still used a condom on her to be sure. But he hadn’t even remembered to grab one with Ashley, and just this single instance could get her pregnant. A chill went down his spine, and he stumbled away from her, quickly pulling up his pants.

Never again would he do that.

Tuesday, January 19th, 2010

That morning Negan woke up in a home that wasn’t his with a woman that was named Katie, not Lucille. This girl was different from Ashley in that he hadn’t been drunk at all when he went home with her. When he fucked in her foyer, and then on her couch, and then up against the wall in the hallway, and then in her bed and later in her shower, he knew what he was doing. He hadn’t forgotten the condoms this time.

Katie wasn’t a singular instance either. Negan found all sorts of excuses to keep going back and seeing her. The icing on the cake for him was that he didn’t have to hide his marriage from Katie – she saw his wedding ring the very first night and still invited him back to her place – and all he had to do was hide his affair from Lucille, his wife.

Friday, February 12th, 2010

It was the beginning of Valentine’s Day weekend, and Negan was spending Friday night with his mistress rather than his wife. He had told Lucille that he was picking up an extra shift at the car dealership when in actuality, he was picking Katie up to go on a date to this little seafood buffet in the next town over. Negan had been picking up a lot of extra shifts, and Lucille believed him about it and wasn’t bothered at all – especially since he told her that if they were going to have a baby, they needed a little extra money in the bank.

In truth, Negan was still trying to wrap his mind around having a baby with Lucille. He knew that he needed to get used to the idea sooner rather than later because he knew that for all his running around on Lucille, he still loved her. Negan had no intention of leaving her to be with Katie, and Katie didn’t have any delusions about it either. All that was between him and Katie was sex, but what Negan and Lucille had was love, real love, true love, pure love. When the time comes, Negan would be willing to part ways amicably with Katie to raise a family with Lucille, and Katie would part amicably, too, and Lucille would be none the wiser. It was all going to work out perfectly.

Driving along in companionable silence, Katie turned on the radio for some background noise. Negan let her, not picky about the stations at all. She fiddled around with the dial for a bit before she settled on one song that stirred familiarity in Negan’s gut. “The first time ever I saw your face…I thought the sun rose in your eyes…”

“Fucking change it,” he snapped, feeling uncomfortable, his chest too tight.

“Yeah, I don’t care much for that song either,” Katie said and did as he asked. The next song didn’t sit any better with Negan. 

“No, you don’t know the one who dreams of you at night; and longs to kiss your lips, and longs to hold you tight.”

“Fucking change it,” he barked out again, gritting his teeth. He didn’t know why he cared so much, they were just songs, it was just music. None of it had to mean anything, but it did.

Katie changed the station again, and the memories just kept coming for Negan. “I, I’m so in love with you. Whatever you want to do is all right with me.”

“Fucking change it,” he told her gruffly, gripping the steering wheel so tight that his knuckles blanched white and his foot was just a little too heavy on the gas. “No fucking love songs.”

“I’ll stop the world and melt with you. You’ve seen the difference and it’s getting better all the time.”

“I said no fucking love songs!”

“But I actually like this song,” Katie whined, but Negan ignored her and reached over to change the station himself.

“It’s late in the evening; she’s wondering what clothes to wear. She puts on her make-up and brushes her long blonde hair…”

In spite of himself, Negan lingers on the station a tad too long, and he’s overcome with remembrance of his and Lucille’s wedding. She had looked beautiful in her cream-colored dress, with lace work so thin and delicate that Negan wondered if a spider made it for her. Her lingerie was just as lacy and delicate, he later found out that night as he had accidentally ripped her panties off in his haste to get to her.

“I thought you said no fucking love songs,” Katie interrupted his reverie.

Immediately, Negan snapped out of it and shut off the radio. “You know what, let’s do this bullshit another damn night. Fuck it.”

Katie protested, but Negan ignored her, turning around and taking her home without dinner or sex. He drove home to Lucille, having every intention to make it up to her, to call Katie later and break it off officially. Negan was ready to be a father now if it only meant spending all the time in the world with Lucille. She deserved to be a mother, and Negan was being shitty to her, holding her back from her hopes and dreams. The least he could do was a put a fucking baby in her.

When Negan got home, he barged in and found Lucille sitting at the kitchen table. She was in her pajamas, crying, half bent over a cup of cold coffee and some paperwork. Assuming it was just paperwork from the school, Negan ignored it as he placed a comforting hand on Lucille’s shoulder, kissing her forehead soothingly. “Lucille, Lucille,” he brushed her tears away, “Lucille, what’s wrong?”

Sniffling miserably, Lucille told him what was wrong in a shaky voice. “I had gone to the doctor recently, just to get a check up and see if I was okay. All I wanted was to be sure that if I do have a baby that I’m healthy enough for it. But then during the physical, they found a lump on my breasts, and… and…” She broke down crying again, but she didn’t have to finish her story. Negan knew.

Lucille’s mom – and most women in her family – had a history of breast cancer. But most of those women didn’t get it until much later on in life, whereas Lucille was barely in her 20s. It didn’t make sense for her to get it now, but that’s just how life is. Confusing and unfair.

Lucille got a double mastectomy like her mom, and Negan took care of her through it. But that still wasn’t enough, she’d have to go through chemotherapy as well. It killed Negan to see Lucille in pain, where she was so sick that she couldn’t keep anything down and she had trouble doing the simplest things, like getting up to go the bathroom on her own. All of Lucille’s dirty blonde hair fell out, and Negan got her a red scarf to keep her head warm, but she still felt ugly.

The only thing that made Lucille feel better while she was sick was if Negan sang to her, and he did sing to her as often and clear as he could before his voice with break with tears and catch on his sobs, choking them down so he could try and finish so she could sleep. He sang all her favorites. David Bowie. Elton John. Billy Joel. And when he ran out of those songs, he sang his favorites. Elvis Presley. Johnny Cash. And when he ran out of those, he sang the ones that were special to them.

“…The first time ever I saw your face…I thought the sun rose in your eyes…”

“…No, you don’t know the one who dreams of you at night; and longs to kiss your lips, and longs to hold you tight…”

“…I, I’m so in love with you. Whatever you want to do is all right with me...”

“…I’ll stop the world and melt with you. You’ve seen the difference and it’s getting better all the time…”

It was when she was laid up in her hospital bed, dying, that Negan finally gathered his courage to sing their wedding song. The world had been going to hell in a handbasket out there, but Negan’s world – Lucille – could never go to hell, though her health did. As he watched the life fade away from her, her soul leave her body and something wicked and animalistic take its place, Negan softly cried and sang his Lucille to her eternal sleep.

“…It’s late in the evening; she’s wondering what clothes to wear. She puts on her make-up and brushes her long blonde hair…”

He abruptly stopped once he knew she was gone. Her heart monitor went flat, and her hand was limp in his. Sitting back in his hospital chair where it felt like he aged a lifetime sitting there, Negan lifted his hands up to his face in prayer. Negan hadn’t prayed at all while Lucille was going through everything. To his knowledge, Lucille hadn’t either. But now at the end of it all, Negan figured that it was worth a shot now.

“God, you took my Lucille from me, and I know I didn’t deserve her, I know I didn’t appreciate her. But God, please, please, send her back to me. My Lucille, my sweet Lucille, she didn’t deserve this. She would’ve been a good mom. Oh, Lucille, Lucille.”

Suddenly, Lucille’s body on the bed jerked, and Negan paused mid-prayer. He glanced between Lucille and the heart-monitor wondering, and as Lucille’s body convulsed again, Negan’s heart jumped in his throat. His hands dropped down to his thighs and he was already thinking about how it was so silly to pray to the same God that gave his Lucille cancer, how his Lucille was a fighter, of course she wasn’t dead. She could pull through this.

And almost immediately, Lucille’s eyes opened, and it wasn’t Lucille who was staring back at him. The eyes were glassy and fogged over, not the usual hazel color at all. When her mouth dropped open, the sound that came out was bone-chilling, unlike any other sound he has ever heard her make before. And this Lucille raised her arm, reaching her hand out to him clawing at the air, when the Lucille he knew had been too tired to lift more than a finger in his general direction. Negan knew that this was not his Lucille.

As soon as Negan stepped foot outside the hospital, he knew it was a whole different world out here. The dead had come back to life, and now he realized that his Lucille was a zombie. And rather than killing her or letting her consume him or letting her bite him so he could turn, Negan had turned tail and fled like the coward he was.

It haunted him, while he was out in the world surviving, thinking about how his Lucille was trapped in that hospital room as a hungry monster, wasting away without him all alone. Sometimes he wondered if he should have stayed up there and died with her, if it would have been justice for her to eat him as revenge for his infidelity. For a while, though, he was sure that he didn’t want to die like that. He had seen many forms of death too quickly, and he wanted his death, should it ever come, to be a good one.

He found a baseball bat. It saved his life multiple times. The bat was a handy weapon. No ammo needed, basically quiet, sturdy, intimidating. Feeling sentimental, he named it Lucille. And this Lucille quickly grew a mind of her own – and barbed wire to boot. Negan began a weird sort of relationship with his bat. Sometimes when he looked at it, he swore he heard his Lucille, that he’s see dirty blonde hair in the wood grain, that there would be flashes of hazel eyes or red lips. And oftentimes while he was by himself, Negan would sing to the bat.

He’d sing David Bowie. Elton John. Billy Joel. Elvis Presley. Johnny Cash. Negan would sing, “…The first time ever I saw your face…I thought the sun rose in your eyes…

“…No, you don’t know the one who dreams of you at night; and longs to kiss your lips, and longs to hold you tight…

“…I, I’m so in love with you. Whatever you want to do is all right with me...

“…I’ll stop the world and melt with you. You’ve seen the difference and it’s getting better all the time…

“…It’s late in the evening; she’s wondering what clothes to wear. She puts on her make-up and brushes her long blonde hair…”

Negan would sing and sing his very heart out. This Lucille, who was just as feral as that Lucille in the hospital room now, she was placated by the singing if only temporarily. Then she’d be thirsty for blood again. But Negan would always find time to sing to her in privacy, and the whole world may have heard his humming and whistling, but only Lucille ever got to hear him sing now. And when he sang it was no longer for pleasure. It was for release.


End file.
